When you die you’ll probably
Feel good. Someone will tell
You you’ve had too much fun
Again. And you’ll eat grilled vegetables
And turn out the lights and
Stroke your hair back again.
Sit with your legs folded
Out in shorts and look at
And feel ashamed.
Walk all the way home,…
Today, I’m devoting time to a long poem I’ve been revising for a year. Richard gave me solid advice, but I feel I must take it a step further, give it form. I want to reformat it as a crown of sonnets.
The working title of the poem is Appalachian Song, soon to be Appalachian Crown. Thematically, the crown works (“i can’t scrub the rust from my crown, so wear it the only way i can, with pride”)
Though I touch on social and environmental landscapes, I think I can go deeper in regards to the issue of coal, that black rock paradoxically killing my home even as it keeps it alive. I don’t want to get political; rather, present the situation for what it is.
i realize this insight is boring to everyone except me, but this is my blog so cocksucker and Moloch.
I’m excited for my tattoo appointment on monday. I’m excited to go to the river this afternoon and feed swans. I’m excited to finish my letter to drew, to edit poetry by my peers, go to a reading tonight.
I feel as if a weight has been lifted. Like trimming fat from a bad poem, i’ve weeded apathetic people from my life. I’m doing what I love in the company of friends.
It’s wonderful it is to be loved as a person, not an idea.
Prague, week 3
we read poetry, passing a bottle of mysterious Czech vodka that we pour liberally into stout glasses—clink! I feel good. Earlier that day, I met with Richard. We went through my poetry line by line, trimming the fat. I say goodnight to my friends, leaving the vodka in their room. This morning, there is no hangover, only hunger—for bread, Prague, words.
Today, I will attend a cross-genre workshop (poetry, fiction, non-fiction). I will meet with Richard again to talk about my prose and my “ambitions” for writing. I worked hard to get here; still, I am grateful to my friends and mentors. I feel I am exactly where I need to be, meeting who I need to meet.
I miss the people I love in the U.S., but I’m not going to want to leave the Czech Republic.